i dunno wat to feel now. heard from herself last nite dat they were together. was stunned for a while. didn't noe wat to say to her. wat can u say when ur fren is wif de guy u like??after dat i cried. told myself dat i cldn't cry. but de tears juz kept flowing. at least she still said something before she left de conversation. he??he juz disappeared. fuck him...
part of me kinda felt like this wld happen. but there was de other part of me dat was hoping against hope dat it wldn't happen. dat it wun be her he's wif. dat he's mine instead. i noe i sound selfish, but hey, i like this guy remember. now i see dat i was lying to myself. telling myself dat nothing would happen between them. dat everything would be great between him n me. dat things would be totally different from wat is happening now...
de part of me dat saw this coming kept trying to forget him. kept trying. n kept trying. but as u can see it's only trying. i still cant forget him. it's difficult to forget someone u've gotten to noe. esp if it's someone like him. a good guy. well, better than his frens anyway. it's gonna take a while for me to get him out of my system. at least now i've got a reason to forget him. last time it was juz a feeling. no proof. now, it's juz in my face...
thankfully there're no more combined trgs wif de guys. cuz i dun wanna breakdown on de field. dun wanna see him face to face yet. dun even think i'll be ready to be in de same place as him when sch starts. yupz, it's gonna take a long time. a very long time...
