wasn't able to blog these past 2 days. i shall blog today, now dat i have a day off before my nxt paper which is chem.
first paper was chinese. was quite ok considering de fact dat i haven done any chinese since june last year, other than going for chinese class after 2nd intake(didn't go for any chinese lessons during first 3 months. haha). shld be able to pass.
nxt, econs paper3. it sucked lah. had to sit in de hall for 1 1/2 hours. nearly burned up k. so bloody hot inside. they had fans but de fans were AROUND de hall n i was sitting in de middle. im so used to sitting in mg hall dat has air-con. fuck lah. i cldn't recall anything cuz de heat was juz frying up my brain. haha. kidding. but i juz cldn't rmb anything frm wat i had studied. so i juz crapped my way thru de application qns n tried my best to rmb something n write it down. prediction: less than 10 over 50. great, juz great. now i hafta work damn hard for mcq to help pull up my marks. fuck. oh yar, talking bout mcq, they juz had to change de paper on fri to sat. wah lau. these ppl r so dumb. waste my time only. go sch juz to take one mcq paper den go home. n de paper is so early in de morning. fuck these ppl lah.
yesterday was maths. not good either. de paper was so tough. so many qns dat i cldn't complete. kinda disappointing. n there wasn't enuf time. n had to sit in de hall again. i was ALL THE WAY in front. hate being in de front. it's where all de teachers r n they're always so busybody. they like to look at ur answers n im like wtf. go away lah. lemme do my paper in peace can. haha. anyway, it was still kinda hot but not as bad as econs paper. prediction: juz pass. i'll be damn happy if i can pass. seriously. even if it's 30/60 i'll be happy. haha.
so tmr's chem. am supposed to be studying now but as u can see im not. hope i can do de qns. n i have enuf time to complete de mcq cuz for de past 2 test there wasn't enuf time n i had to juz write some number down. sigh. hope i dun screw chem up since i haven studied.
i hate exams!! n de fact dat most of my exam venues r de same as him (other than chem n chinese) is not helping. i still think of him when he's not arnd. but i avoid him when i see him. i walk away n try not to look at him. it still hurts to noe dat they're together. sigh. my life's kinda screwed at de moment. n i dunno when it'll get back to normal.
his frens still dunno dat they're together. n it hurts when they talk abt him. when my fren (who noes him as well) asks me bout him all i can say is we dun really talk much which is true. ever since i heard bout it i stopped talking to him. i talk to him only when he starts de conversation. all i can do in front of my frens who noe dat i like him is smile. but it's fake. it's not real. i cant show my true emotions. if i do then i'd be sad everyday. wldn't it be bad if dat happens. i hafta to put on a front so dat i can forget n carry on wif my life. fuck. how i wish everything didn't happen de way it did. then i wldn't be hurting now.
gareth gates-say it isn't so
miles n miles to go before i can say,
before i can lay my love for you to sleep
i got miles n miles to go
before anyone will ever hear
me laugh again
