and the days feel like years

Sunday, December 26, 2004*

so stupid. so so stupid. so damn stupid of me to like a guy who alr has a gf. i got nothing else to say to myself except dat wat i did was so damn stupid.

all de signs were there. juz dat i neva saw it.

asked him today where i stood wif him. he went on n on. then he said wat i neva wanted to hear. he was trying to make he current relationship work. wtf. dat was de thing dat made me break down. de last time he actually talked bout his current gf, he said he was gonna break wif her aft her As. now he's doing de opposite. he said he didnt have any feelings for her. now he's saying dat he still has.

damn. all i can do is juz say how stupid i was to like him in de first place. shld have said no at de beginning. i had my doubts then but i brushed it aside cuz i wanted AND tot it wld work out. stupid stupid me.

i have to type this out now or i wun be able to slp tonite.

thanks, for making this christmas de worst christmas i ever had. it was alr bad without de family celebrations. u juz added de oh so delicious icing to de alr wonderfully sweet cake. thanks a million. for de worst christmas ever.

~1:44 am