i feel lost. like i've lost the meaning to everything. i know why i came to perth but i dont know why i'm studying banking and finance. or why i wanted to study it in the first place. i've lost the clarity through which i could see things and i'm stuck in this confused, muddled state of mind. i'm starting to lose my cool and starting to get frustrated over things that never used to bother me. i'm losing the drive to go to sch, and i think that's partly cuz there's nothing pulling me towards sch. i think i'm losing touch. and i think i'm losing focus.
sigh.. i dont know what's wrong. just feel so moodless (if moodless is even considered a word) everyday. "get out of perth!! get back to spore!!" just pops up in my head almost all the time. i dont know. I Don't Know. I. DON'T. KNOW. i dont even know why i'm lost, how i got lost, where i got lost or what caused me to lose my way.
and feeling like this
abt u isnt helping. i just feel even more confused and lost and then i start to get a little frustrated cuz i feel helpless abt the whole damn situation.
here's the flippin' situation. i've got a sucky sem, i feel so damn moodless everyday, i'm getting ticked off at the simplest things that i shldnt be getting ticked off at, i keep thinking of going home, i feel bored no matter what i do, there's this HUGE void of loneliness inside that's just growing exponentially everyday and i dont know if it would ever be filled, and i miss u so much and keep thinking of u but i cant talk to u
(u might be able to fill that void, but it all depends on u and how u feel).
i wish i cld cry it out. but the tears ain't coming so everything's just stuck inside.
______
i think i shld start running. run for awhile. never liked running long distances but once in awhile it does help. also help to train for when i go back if people ask me to play rugby, i won't be panting 1minute into the game.
______
gosh, i really really miss
hL!! haha. talking to her on msn always puts a smile on my face no matter how tired i am. love her to bits :):)
______
ok, back to management. damn scared for the presentation on wed. though can relax abit cuz the grade from the report can help to pull up the mark, it doesn't suit me to do a half-assed job. but argh, i dont like some people in the class and i have to present with them arnd. bugger. thankfully i have a good partner who doesnt mind talking more. scared that i might end up doing a shabby presentation on the actual day itself. but i think by then i'll be so sick and tired of it i wld just do a lousy presentation anyway. just hope i get at least a credit.
been a long enough post. i dont think i'm stressed or anything. it might missing home and the people that's causing these shit-assed feelings. hmm..
ciaos~
